


POI Avengers crossover fusion fics

by whomii2



Series: POI crossovers [9]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Crack, Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-11
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2017-11-27 09:31:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/660394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whomii2/pseuds/whomii2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crossover AU.  Finch=Banner/Hulk;  Reese=Hawkeye.  Other Avengers as usual<br/>Series of one-shots</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The New Guy

John “Hawkeye” Reese wasn’t sure about this new team.

It was certainly unusual, and in John’s long and unorthodox career he had certainly seen his fair share of unusual. Still, the team also had the greatest potential of any team he had been a member of.

There was no denying Stark’s suit was an impressive piece of technology, although one would expect no less from the genius. Reese’s own weaponry now included more tricks than James Bond, but while he might have more variety at his disposal the suit would still win hands down in in terms of shear power. Although the power that the Norseman seemed able to draw on when necessary might be even greater.

The problem was that while both Stark and this “Thor” had power in plenty, they lacked precision and tended to rely on their strength too much. There was a difference between skill and enthusiasm. They also had massive egos, which meant they didn’t play well with others.

The kid had potential. He at least had military experience in his past, giving him some discipline. Unfortunately he was still more comfortable following orders than giving them. But he had guts as well as a big heart, and John felt that being forced to deal with the egos of the other two would no doubt force the kid to be more assertive just in self defense.

John hadn’t been given much of a briefing on their latest recruit, so he thought he would go and try and get a read on the man before their first team exercise tomorrow.

John was surprised when the door to the new member’s room was opened by a short man with mousey hair and dark glasses. After introducing himself, John offered to provide a tour of the facilities. The man nodded and placed the books he had been unpacking on a shelf before coming to join John.

He seemed uncomfortable when they visited the shooting range, murmuring “I don’t like weapons.” He put his fingers in his ears as John demonstrated one of his explosive tipped arrows and asked “what happens when you miss?” “Don’t know” John replied, “never have.”

The recruit seemed almost as uncomfortable when they entered the gym. Eyeing the recruit’s slight physique, John tried to keep his voice neutral when he listed the variety of exercise equipment available. As they paused by a weight machine, the recruit commented that he tended to avoid strenuous activity. “Health problem?” John asked. “Something like that.” John didn’t pry any further, he figured Fury’s briefing material and the team exercise would provide all the answers he needed. And the man seemed to like his privacy.

John was rather surprised when the new guy showed up to the team exercise the next day in a loose T-shirt and baggy purple sweat pants. He now looked slightly embarrassed as well as uncomfortable. John had been expecting some sort of technological weaponry similar to the Iron Man suit. From Thor’s expression, John could tell he wasn’t the only one who didn’t know what to make of this new team mate. Captain America stepped forward to welcome the man and shake his hand. Iron Man completely ignored him. 

They all waited and listened as the parameters of the exercise were outlined. They were to make their way through the maze to retrieve the flag at the other end. Of course, they would need to overcome a number of killer robots along the way, and avoid any booby traps they might encounter. As the exercise began Thor and Iron Man surged ahead eager to encounter the “enemy“. After exchanging a silent glance, Captain America and John stayed close to the new guy, who strode forward resigned but determined. 

Things went well at first, Thor and Iron Man easily besting each robot they encountered and clearing the way. But as they fell into a sort of one-upmanship, they drew too far away from the others and were unprepared when a group of robots attacked en masse. John began firing arrow after exploding arrow to try and pick off some of their opponents and give them enough breathing room to regain the upper hand. They were both almost literally buried in a pile of the things. The situation became worse when lasers began to fire from the walls, and John was forced to redirect his fire to the laser mounts while Captain America provided protection with his shield. John had just neutralized the last laser when the three of them were all bowled over by an explosion from behind. John picked himself up, ears ringing as he turned toward this new threat only to see--a giant. A green giant, and not a very jolly one. John had just noted the giant was wearing a familiar pair of purple sweat pants (no longer baggy) when, with an inarticulate roar, the giant began smashing together the latest group of robots. He threw the compressed robot ball down the hallway, knocking aside a number of the robots attacking Thor and Iron Man. He then turned and proceeded to smash his way through the wall, disappearing from view. Sharing a baffled look, John and Captain America turned to follow, having seen that Thor and Iron Man had regained the upper hand against the robots. They were passing through the third hole-in-a-wall, when they met the behemoth returning, a small red flag clasped delicately in his enormous green fist.


	2. Outing

The team was coming together much better than John would have expected, given the rather unique individuals involved.

Despite their massive egos, Stark and Thor had quickly bonded over their shared love of drinking and wenching, and they took off to indulge themselves at every opportunity. It was the other two that had John concerned. Their morale seemed perpetually low, and they spent their free time holed up on base - moping. This couldn’t be allowed to continue and John was determined to pull them out of their respective shells, kicking and screaming and against their wills if that was what it took.

Stark and Thor might actually be useful in this case, as they were both overflowing with a certain obnoxious joie de vivre. They took to John’s suggestion of a team night out like pigs to slop, more than happy to pull their more reserved teammates into their exuberant orbit. Captain America seemed dubious but willing. The new guy just looked resigned. Or doomed. It was a little hard to tell with his usual poker face, but John had already pegged him as a glass half empty kind of guy so he ignored both the expression on his new colleague and the little voice in the back of John’s head that was saying this outing was a train wreck waiting to happen.

So the five of them set off for the bar chosen for the evening’s festivities. John had his suspicions about why Stark and Thor rotated though a different bar every outing but kept his opinions to himself. While those two went to the bar to place their orders, John shepherded the other two to an out of the way table. He tried to fake some exuberance and asked them to name their drink. His hopes for the evening fell when the nerdy guy asked for green tea, only to be completely killed when Captain America asked for milk. The two wallflowers just didn’t seem to be getting into the spirit of the evening. So instead John got their table a pitcher of beer and some glasses, hoping a little alcohol would lighten things up. 

It didn’t. Captain America sipped his beer, hiding a grimace and looking uncomfortable. Checking out the new guy, John noticed that he looked more than uncomfortable, he looked --agitated. And agitated for him was NOT a good thing. Knowing when to stage a strategic withdrawal, John paid for their beer and quickly hustled them from the bar. 

Out on the street, John pondered what to do with them for the rest of the evening. He wasnt ready to give up yet! A movie theatre down the street caught his eye, and he figured that would be a safe enough activity for the three of them. Looking at the new guy, John decided it would have to be a film that wasn’t too scary. Or shocking. Or even exciting. Glancing over at Captain America, John figured the movie should also be suitable for 1940s sensibilities. That wasn’t much to work with and John looked over the options available without much hope.

A short time later, seated in the back of the theater and slurping the last of his overpriced soda, John thought wistfully of the beer he had abandoned back at the bar. Or even something stronger. Sitting through this movie was as painful as having long needles shoved into his nerves (and John would know about that). Still, his companions seemed to be enjoying themselves. Captain America seemed entranced by the picture (although he could just be in a sugar coma). Even the new guy had perked up, filling in Captain America on the back story with a wealth of trivia. Nerdy scientist. John groaned and slunk lower in his seat. No doubt he was now going to have to hunt down the DVD box set. But he was definitely raiding Thor and Stark’s stash of alcohol before he settled down with these two for a Muppet marathon.


	3. Book Swap

When Finch left Avengers Mansion Reese trailed discretely behind him. Finch’s smaller stature and quite, unassuming nature made him look like easy prey to street predators. Indeed, there had been an unfortunate incident last time Finch ventured out. A gang of young trouble makers had targeted Finch for some “fun”. The toughs would each have a long hospital stay to regret their choice of victim. Unfortunately, Finch’s alter ego had also decimated the subway car they were riding in and had created havoc on the evening commute. The pencil pushers in charge of SHIELD had not been happy. Fury had given a stern lecture on trying to avoid property damage at the next Avengers meeting. They had all nodded along, although Reese knew none of the team thought anything other than that the bullies had gotten what they deserved. Reese suspected even Fury was just going through the motions, as he was a man of action and much more aware of real-world practicalities than the bureaucrats who were nominally in charge. Sadly, Finch seemed to be taking the scolding too much to heart. He had been mortified following the incident, hiding away in his room and avoiding the others. 

After 3 days of this behavior, Stark had barged into Finch’s room and dragged him off to the labs for a consultation on his latest project (Tony never met a “Keep Out” sign, either literal or figurative, that he wasn’t perfectly willing to ignore).

That weekend Stark flew to the West Coast for a charity gala. Loitering outside the kitchen area, John was pleased to see Finch contemplating the box of donuts he had put out after everyone else had finished breakfast. He had suspected that Finch would fall back on his previous behavior and not come to the kitchen until everyone else had gone. After selecting a donut, Finch set about brewing tea from the box John had placed in the cupboard. While he was waiting for it to brew, Steve entered and took advantage of Finch’s presence to take implement Reese’s advice and ask Finch to recommend some modern classics published in the past 70 years. As the two settled comfortably at the table, Reese went down the hall to head off Thor who he could hear rapidly approaching. The Thunder God’s boisterous good humor could be a bit grating at times. So Reese diverted him to the target range for some weapon’s practice (while Thor’s hammer throws were unquestionably powerful, some work on precision and accuracy would not be a bad thing.)

The following week, after the success of their most recent mission, it seemed that Finch had perked up enough that he was willing to venture outside the mansion once more. Not wanting to see anything happen to dampen Finch’s good mood, John thought it best to keep an eye on him and head off any potential troublemakers.

He wasn’t surprised when Finch’s errand took him to a nearby Barnes&Noble. While Finch had many old favorites squirreled away in his room, sometimes you just wanted a new book and eventually the lure was irresistible. As Finch whiled away the morning perusing the literature, John hid out and observed him from a nearby aisle. But he should have anticipated that someone who had successfully evaded a military manhunt for so long would be sensitive to observation. After filling his basket with his selections, Finch turned and marched smartly over to where John was lurking. John quickly grabbed a book off the shelf as cover, knowing Finch wasn’t at all fooled as he feigned surprise and made small talk. Finch subtly got his revenge by maneuvering John into blowing $60 on a text on stress fractures of titanium. Still it seemed worth it as they walked back to the mansion together, Finch animatedly going on about his new purchases while John smiled and sipped the coffee he had bought at the snack shop. 

John thought that would be the end of it, until Finch asked him about his book the next day. Never one to back down from a challenge, John cursed Finch’s devious mean streak as he kept inquiring about the book, forcing John to read the boring thing.

Still, it was almost worth it a few days later. John had taken some sandwiches and drinks down to the lab where Stark and Finch were working (because neither genius could be counted on to have the common sense to eat or rest). When Finch slyly asked about the book, John smugly recited a full paragraph of the text he had glanced over the night before. Stark’s mouth dropped open and for the first time in Reese’s memory he was rendered temporarily speechless. Stark quickly recovered and, as the topic of metallurgy was dear to his heart, he took the conversational ball and ran with it. John and Harold exchanged amused looks as Stark became more animated in his exposition, completely oblivious to the fact that his audience was paying him no mind. John had been pleased to find that Finch and he shared a similar dry sense of humor. Most of their other teammates seemed unable to tell when they were joking if they said something with a straight face. Although Stark would be able to recognize sarcasm if he bothered to listen to what other people were saying.

Over time, the trip to the Barnes&Noble became a somewhat regular outing. At times Steve would even tag along, buying one of the novels Finch recommended or browsing through the art section. It almost came to an end when Reese’s current SHIELD mission blew up spectacularly in his face. He had identified the mole in their organization, but not before he was betrayed and he was swarmed by enemy agents. Injured in the subsequent fire fight, he radioed headquarters, hoping to at least pass on his information before his position was overrun. As it happened, Finch was present when Reese’s desperate call came in, and his voice could be heard in the background urging John to hold on. John grimly counted his few remaining arrows and looking at the size of the pool of blood formed thought that the situation wasn’t looking good. He had to revise that opinion when an un-jolly green giant thudded into place between John and the enemy. After a brief moment of intense carnage, John found himself being lifted by large but gentle hands and whisked away. It had all happened so fast that even Iron Man had arrived only in time for the mopping up (which in the case of the enemy standing too close to the Hulk’s arrival was literal).

John woke up later that evening in the medical wing, grumpily contemplating his future forced inactivity. But he brightened when Harold poked his head in a short while later. On assuring him that he wasn’t disturbing him, Harold entered the room and thrust a selection of books into John’s hands, all the while beaming proudly. Noting the cracked spines and well worn pages of the offerings, John was touched and vowed to take good care of the precious treasures Harold was entrusting to his keeping.


	4. Advantages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The advantages of being a green rage-monster

Finch wasn’t too fond of the helicarrier. He found it too sterile, too reminiscent of the military that had chased him for many years. And advanced as SHIELD tech was, it still did not measure up to what Finch had gotten used to from working with Stark. Still, there was an up-side to being on the helicarrier. All of the personnel on board were seasoned agents, and all were aware of his “condition”. They made sure they treated Finch with strict professionalism, and if at times it was tinged with caution, it was also tinged with some relief. A big green rage monster was hardly the weirdest thing these people would have seen, and they would definitely see the advantages of having one fighting on their side. It was nice to be around people who knew what he was and accepted it so easily. And there were some other advantages…

　

Fury was living up to his name, and Reese was his unfortunate victim. The debrief had been uncomfortable - while they had accomplished their mission it was clear that things could have gone a lot better with a lot less collateral damage and injuries. Most of the others had scattered as soon as possible, but John had remained to give a more detailed briefing. As the non-civilian member of the team (Steve had military experience, but was still trying to acclimate to the present and so was in a sort of in-between status and Widow had been off on a covert op) Reese had unfortunately become the target for Fury’s ire (and Stark hadn’t helped matters by winding him up before his exit). Knowing that much of Fury’s wrath was due more to the situation than his performance he stoically stood there and let his superior vent. Finch, who had remained behind typing away on a pad when the others left and had been almost forgotten by the other occupants of the room, finished what he was doing and walked over to the other two. Looking Fury straight in the eye he stated with finality “It wasn’t John’s fault.” He held Fury’s gaze impassively as the other man wrestled down his anger. After a few minutes Finch nodded and with a “come along John” turned and left the room, Reese taking the opportunity to escape by following closely on his heals. As they walked down the corridor Finch glanced at Reese and murmured quietly “it really wasn’t your fault John.” John didn’t say anything, but gave Harold a brief squeeze on the shoulder before heading off for a much wanted shower.

　

Wednesday was a special day on the helicarrier. It was the day the cook tried out new dessert recipes. A large group had already collected and were jostling each other to try and maneuver into a position to grab one of the limited treats when they were presented. But the mob quieted and parted to allow Finch to the front, where the cook gave him an extra large piece of the scrumptious cake of the day. Finch thanked the cook and took his prize to the table where Captain America was picking disconsolately at his uneaten meal. He barely looked up when Finch slid the tasty confection in front of him, but he did take a bite and start eating. 

　

Stark was in the hangar bay, venting his frustration on the hapless mechanics charged with repairing the damaged quinjet. As most of the damage was dents and holes in the plating, there really wasn’t much sophisticated technical work to be done. That didn’t stop Stark from disparaging the intelligence of the mechanics at full volume, seemingly unaware of their looming menacingly closer to him. He stopped in mid-rant when Finch cleared his throat and asked if Tony could look over Steve’s malfunctioning data pad. (Steve had given Finch the pad a few days earlier. Finch had quickly found and repaired the minor problem but thought Steve would appreciate some time away from the technology. The glitch Finch had just introduced would take Stark much longer to trace and repair. And no doubt he would notice some of the other modifications Finch had made. While the pad was in no way as sophisticated as JARVIS, it was now much more user-friendly in that it could almost operate itself. But instead of executing its functions purely autonomously, it would act by prompting its user to perform the desired functions, thereby training the user on how to use the pad. Finch was sure Tony would add some interesting additions to his training program, and his enthusiasm when he handed Steve back his pad would help to break the other man out of his funk. If nothing else, the two might launch into one of those arguments that they both so enjoyed.)

　

Finch was of the opinion that the medical staff were being a bit too cautious in their treatment of Thor. Certainly, his injuries had been grave and would have killed a mere mortal. But his Aesir physiology had rebounded quickly, and Thor was now chafing at the bedrest he was prescribed as a precaution. He brightened when Finch stopped by to relieve his monotony. He brightened even more when Finch handed him a six pack of beer. The nurse shot Finch a disapproving look as Thor popped the cap on the first can, but said nothing. When Finch asked Thor to give him a run down of the battle (which he could not remember from his hulked out state) Thor gladly launched into an over the top blow by blow account. Harold settled back and began mapping out in his head the next round of experiments he wanted to perform, keeping half an ear on Thor’s tale to determine the salient points and commenting when necessary.


	5. Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finch meets some SHIELD agents...

John hurried down the corridor of the SHIELD carrier as fast as his injured leg would let him, concerned with how Finch might have taken his return to normal without Reese there to ward off unwanted attention. Finch was a private person, and the stress of having to de-Hulk in front of an audience could worsen the effects of the already difficult transformation. It was why Reese usually stationed himself near Finch after their missions, but he had been shanghaied to medical this time around and couldn’t be there to nursemaid Finch. Reese huffed to a stop at the observation window overlooking the “Birdcage,” the large glass enclosure used to confine Finch’s alter ego until he calmed down. Fortunately, things seemed under control. A bulky SHIELD agent was slouched in one of the chairs near the table, seemingly engrossed in a game he was playing on his Starkphone. Finch emerged from behind the privacy screen, buttoning up his shirt and straightening his cuffs. John nodded quietly to himself. The agent’s seeming indifference and inattention were no doubt soothing to Finch’s usual post-Hulk prickly attitude, and was a nice change from the anxiety and sometimes outright fear some of the agents had shown in similar circumstances. 

As John watched, a female agent entered carrying a tray with cups and an assortment of cookies. She smiled at Finch and offered him a cup, apologizing that the only tea she could find was the usual Lipton. Her smile turned to a scowl and she quickly slapped the hand of the big agent as he reached for the cookies, hissing “Those aren’t for you!”

“But I’m hungry” the other agent whined

“You’re on duty” she replied, glaring at the Starkphone in his hand

“Hey, this is important research!”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. Would you give your kid a phone Stark had repaired without testing it out first for unexpected upgrades?”

“I wouldn’t let Taylor within a mile of any tech Stark messed with”

“I rest my case!”

She shook her head at him, but handed him a cup from the tray with an exasperated smile. Her smile widened as she turned her attention to Finch, who had added a vest and a jacket to his ensemble during the agents’ discussion. 

“Have a cookie” she urged, “my mother made them.” 

Finch fidgeted in place for a minute before tentatively reaching out to select a cookie. John smiled to himself. He knew from experience how hard it could be to tempt Finch into eating when he was out of sorts, but he also knew Finch would never be so rude as to refuse a gift of cookies made by someone’s mom. As he made his way down to where the trio were now casually munching on the treats, he thought to himself “these agents have potential.”


	6. No Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is Harold's birthday

Surprise was not an option.

Having a group of people leap out of hiding and yell in Harold's face was a sure fire method of having the Hulk redecorate Avengers tower.

So Reese placed himself in charge of planning a more stress-free birthday party; this mostly involved restraining Stark from going overboard.

It would be a small affair. Steve would have Harold accompany him out of the tower as a distraction while the others decorated the lounge and set up the refreshments and presents. It would just be the Avengers and the SHIELD agents usually stationed in the tower. Agent Carter had brought a batch of her mother's cookies that Harold liked so much. Agent Fusco was acting as Reese's backup on Tony-sitting duty and guarding the refreshments. Privately Reese thought that Fusco might be more of a threat to the snacks than Stark, as Lionel was much more sneaky. But Agent Carter would keep him in line, and Fusco would be able to prevent Stark from spiking the non-alcoholic green punch. The birthday cake was also green, with purple trim, and there was also green dip, green napkins and paper plates, as well as green streamers and balloons decorating the area. Reese had suggested perhaps another color would be preferable, but Tony had waved his objections aside with “Green is awesome!”

They all took up positions when the arrival of Captain America and the Birthday Boy was imminent. They remained quietly in place when the two entered the room, Steve having warned Harold about what to expect. Harold seemed surprised (in a good way) and quietly pleased when he saw them waiting, pursing his lips but making no comment about the tacky decorations. 

After everyone had a cup of punch and some snacks, they settled down to watch Harold open his presents (one from each Avenger except Tony, who had come up with several).

Natasha gave him a coupon for a spa day, which would allow him a relaxing massage as well as an opportunity to temporarily escape his more boisterous colleagues.

Steve gave him a book store gift card and a drawing of the Avengers team (as it was impossible to get them all to stay still for a group picture)

Reese had reached out to a number of his contacts world wide, having them send him exotic teas that were difficult or impossible to come by in the US.

Stark gave him a line of credit at his tailors, indicating his faith and confidence in Harold: faith that he wouldn't Hulk out and destroy the clothing, and confidence that Harold would have somewhere outside the tower to wear them (Hulk was rarely welcome at parties).

Stark's gift to the Hulk was a giant whac-a-mole machine set up in the Hulk containment center downstairs.

A new Starkpad contained the present from Jarvis: 1000 extra-difficult Soduko puzzles that Jarvis had created himself.

Thor was away in Asgard, and there was some quiet betting as to what an Asgardian would consider an appropriate birthday gift.

Agents Fusco and Carter both gave Harold gift cards, but the hug from Carter and the slap on the back from Fusco were probably more precious gifts: regular people for once treating Harold like one of them.

To give Harold a moment to collect himself, Reese enlisted Carter's help in distributing the slices of cake amongst the party goers.

The birthday party was a complete success, John thought to himself as he stunned Fusco with Harold's new Stark-made, functional replica Star-Trek Phaser when Fusco went to take the last of Carter's cookies.

Later Reese would think he should perhaps keep a closer eye on their resident geeks and their hobbies, when for Christmas Harold gifted Tony with a fleet of Roombas shaped like miniature Daleks.

The creatures were quite amusing as they glided around the tower exclaiming in their high-pitched mechanical voices.

But those little suckers stung when they zapped you for tracking in dirt.


	7. Giant Robot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hawkeye" Reese finally gets to shoot something

The small drones were fast and agile, but Reese was still able to take them out with his exploding arrows.

Iron Man was having less success against the Giant Robot that was rampaging through the city. His repulsor blasts and missiles staggered the behemoth, but caused no real damage and failed to stop its destructive path.

Drones dealt with, Reese paused to contemplate his next move. He analyzed all he had seen of the Robot's responses to Iron Man's attacks. If Iron Man's weapons were not having an effect then Reese's exploding arrows would have little chance of stopping it. Unless....

Reese readied several arrows, waiting for the right moment and then sending a volley toward a small place in the leg joint that might be vulnerable. His assumption proved to be correct when the explosions damaged the knee joints, causing the Robot to topple over. 

Stark did a fist pump and yelled “Nice kneecapping Hawkeye!” Yes, Reese thought to himself, sometimes precision was more effective than brute force.

The Hulk, who had spent most of the fight holding up a damaged building to allow evacuation, ambled over to their fallen foe. Watching the Robot as it scrambled up into a seated position, the Hulk placed both hands on its head and pushed down, scrunching the Robot flat like an empty soda can.

And then there's that, Reese thought.


	8. Duel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the 10 in 10 challenge. Fic #3

John sipped his coffee as he made his way down to Stark's lab to roust their resident geniuses out into the land of the living. Harold and Tony had been down there a while. Although the absence of any explosions or alarms was a good sign, they both needed to eat and certainly in Tony's case shower and sleep as well. Really, who had thought it was a good idea to send Harold of all people down to lure Tony from his lab?

The two were startled by John's entrance into their lair. They tried (and failed) to surreptitiously hide the evidence of whatever it was they were working on. John was a bit surprised by their actions. Certainly Tony could be secretive when he was working on new arrows for John, but that work usually didn’t involve Harold and Tony had just given John new tech only a few days ago.

Putting aside the mystery for the moment, John shepherded the two out of the lab and off to the kitchen, suppressing a smirk at how closely they resembled pouty 2-year-olds being sent of to bed. When he was assured that they would eat a proper meal under Natasha’s watchful eye, he snuck back down to the lab to check things out. Surprises from those two could be a dangerous thing.

Examination of their workstation yielded a stopwatch, two identical Master Level Sudoku books, and a tally sheet indicating their respective number of wins. It appeared the only danger was to Tony's ego. The man must have been very tired indeed to let Harold get so far ahead of him point-wise.


	9. Sharp Dressed Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little shopping trip to lift some spirits

Captain America was moping. 

He still went through his usual routines, but without much enthusiasm. He didn't seem to accomplish much when sketching, mostly just staring off into space. He had declined Harold's invitation of a trip to the book store, and when he sat to read barely turned the pages. He didn't seem angry, as his hits at the punching bag seemed to have less oomph rather than more. Harold hypothesized a significant upcoming date in relation to his former life. A birthday, an anniversary, something to remind him of all he had lost while he had been frozen in ice. Reese agreed, and suspected that that was why their choice of an older classic for movie night had failed to cheer Steve up, instead only seemed to make things worse. 

Reese and Harold were quietly discussing their colleague while getting coffee and tea respectively, watching where Steve was sitting in the living room flipping listlessly through the paper. Reese figured it was time to bring in the big gun – Stark. Tony was eminently capable of providing a distraction. Even if all Tony did was annoy Steve it might still be enough to perk the man up. Apprised of the situation when he came up from the lab to get his own morning coffee, Tony agreed enthusiastically.

“I know the perfect solution......SHOPPING! Shopping always makes me feel better.”

“What could you possibly still find to buy?” Reese muttered.

Ignoring the comment Tony bounded into the living room “Steve! Steve! Come with me to my tailor's! I need a new outfit for that charity gala we have this weekend.”

“Don't you have enough clothes already?” Steve grumped.

“Hey, I'm not just a billionaire, genius, philanthropist superhero. I'm also a fashion icon. I made red&gold the new black. I've been on the cover of GQ and made the best dressed list 5 years running. so I have a reputation to maintain. Come along and I'll introduce you to my guy. We can get something for you too.”

“I was just gonna rent a tux for the evening Tony...”

“WHAT! Captain America is not gonna wear off the rack!! Not on my watch.” Tony turned to where Reese and Harold were hovering while observing their teammates. “You guys should come too. It'll be great. Guy's day out.”

“I was an international spy with SHIELD, Stark. I already have a tuxedo.”

“Oooh, cool. What does it do? Bulletproof cummerbund? Exploding cufflinks? Although it still won't be as awesome as the Iron Man suit.”

“Some of us don't need fancy gizmos. Just ourselves.” 

“He's right” Steve nodded in agreement. 

“Phoooey. Guess I shouldn't expect any tech appreciation from the guy who shoots arrows and the guy who throws a giant frisbee.”

“Its a shield Tony”

“Looks like a giant patriotic frisbee. But Harold, you appreciate where I'm coming from don't you science bro?”

“Yes Tony. The Iron Man suit is a wonderful technological marvel. Sadly the greatest science achievement in my wardrobe is...pants that don't rip.”

There was a bit more arguing, but Reese figured the shopping trip couldn't hurt and helped Tony wrangle the others into going. A short limo ride later and they were at Tony's tailor's, being fawned over by his assistants while the tailor took their measurements.

Various outfits were brought out and tried on by all of them. Everything from formal wear and business suits to casual everyday garments and accessories, Picking up a price tag that had been removed and accidently fluttered onto the floor Steve exclaimed “I can't believe this is how much a tuxedo costs nowadays.”

“Tux? That's the price for the underwear.”

“You pay that much for UNDERWEAR?!”

“Hey, price of designer underwear: $450. What's inside: priceless” Tony responded with a leer. “Besides, it pays to have on classy underwear when you end up splashed all over the front page wearing nothing else.”

“That's an invasion of privacy. I can't get over how intrusive reporters are today. They had no business trespassing on private property and peeping through windows just to get some pictures. Back in my time newspapers reported news.”

“Well, those particular photos were taken in Times Square. Good Times.”

“What? Why were you....Aaarrgh! I don't even wanna know.”

Turning away from the squabbling duo convinced that Captain America was now out of his funk, Reese surveyed himself critically in the full-length mirror and asked Finch “Does my quiver make my butt look big?”

Harold tried but didn't succeed in keeping a straight face.

Catching sight of Harold's small smile in the mirror, Reese couldn't suppress a satisfied smirk of his own as he thought: Mission Accomplished!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for my trope bingo square: retail therapy


End file.
